I recently visited my aunty, who is the most clued up woman I know when it comes positively adjusting your lifestyle and how to grow in your relationships. The topic of compromising in came up and it inspired me to write this piece!
It’s often been said that the key to a great relationship is that the both of you meet in the middle at 50/50. I mean it’s an equal partnership after all no? Normally we see compromising as “giving up” something in order to please another. You can’t always think of it as a negative. (No negative Nancy’s round here please). In order for compromise to work, you have to come from a place where you can say to yourself “this is what another person needs/wants right now, and for the better of them/the both of us, I will be the person to enable that”. By changing your mindset on how you see catering to someone else’s needs, changes the situation entirely. For example, don’t think – I hate watching boring TV shows with my other half when coming home from work – TURN IT AROUND – I will engage in watching the shows that they like as I know it’s a bonding activity for us that helps them to relax after a long day at work.
Now I know that someone is about to say, where do you draw the line? How do you compromise without the scales tipping? Is 60/40 still ok? My answer is to use your brain. A partnership where both people are respectful of each other’s boundaries but are able to sometimes adjust their views for the greater good, will never feel like they are in an uncomfortable situation where they are altering their life constantly for another.
‘Maximise your willingness. Just being willing to compromise will encourage new ways of relating. The space you create allows you to change in ways you never imagined. Anyone who has ever grown in a relationship will tell you it’s much better than the alternative.’
So who’s ready to take the first step in catering to others needs once in a while?
XOXO Gossip Elle