I’ve deliberately used the word alone, as it normally has negative connotations – solitary, lonely or even deserted. However, that’s just one way (and a dumb way) of looking at it. The notion that true happiness and the next step in adulthood relies on finding a partner is not only vicious, but it’s proper bullshit.
I’m not here to put down couple life and give all praise to singledom. Obviously there’s no blueprint on how you should live your life. I just want to let you know that being single is not scary, shameful or tedious in the slightest. You will soon learn that long bouts of singleness are only looked down upon by two types of people – the ones who believe you have to be in a relationship to be a functioning socially acceptable adult, and the ones who are too afraid to be on their own so can’t fathom the idea that someone else would be happy with it.
‘The problem starts when your desire to be in a relationship is fueled by the discomfort of being with yourself. The desperation for another person to save you from being single will only create more drama in your love life’.
If I’m being 100% honest, being single has stages of being wonderful, filled with jealousy, and sometimes just outright mediocre. So how am I going to persuade you that being single can be a good thing for you?
- Life is all about you baby. You’re free to do whatever you want, wear whatever you want, travel wherever you want, without the setback of having to constantly think of others.
- You have time to set your standards. Working out what you want in a partner BEFORE you get with someone is crucial. Knowing exactly what you like and the love you want before you set out, saves you a tiny amount of heartbreak and cuts down the amount of partners you have to test drive before finding ‘the one’.
- Work on yourself in order to have confidence on what you bring to the table. We’re constantly asking others, ‘what do you bring to the table?’ but when was the last time you asked yourself, ‘what do I bring tot he table?’ Become the person who is intelligent, mature, sexy, happy and ready to attract what they really want in a partner.
- Explore your love language – Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch. What describes how you give love or how you receive love best?
Michael Todd said that ‘when you don’t know you, you won’t pick right because you’ll pick what you THINK you want.’ Can I get an amen?
To reiterate, being single is not scary, shameful or tedious in the slightest. It’s liberating, educating and perfectly normal.
XOXO Gossip Elle