I’m back, talking about the most taboo subject of all… sex.
Now, my parents didn’t really talk to me about sex. It was more just the old “If you get pregnant, you don’t live here any more” drivel. Which is neither a healthy dialogue, nor helpful AT ALL. A lot of people I know, said that a majority of what they’d consider “the talk” came from discussions with friends. Which more times is just dirty dirty dirty misinformation sometimes worded in a super misogynistic manner too.
Fuck that. On ellemacuk.com sex is not a taboo subject. I might not be able to provide you with world altering facts, but I am here to create an open dialogue. Which is a start right?
I think, as a parent, guardian teacher or whatever, it is hard to know how to word “the talk” where you cover all bases but still keep it age appropriate. I mean there is so much to cover. Intimacy, where babies come from, puberty, safety, sexuality… the list goes on. Some of my readers completed an anonymous survey answering basic questions, that they’ve never really been able to ask others about sex, but are a super important part of it. I’ve selected a couple of answers below. (See if yours features!)
What is the best thing about sex for you?
(I mean, sex is supposed to be enjoyable right? Not just this mechanical act of inserting body parts or the scientific process of making a baby)
A majority of people answered saying that the build up/foreplay was the best part!
What is the worst thing about sex for you?
(This is a very important question because everyone is different. Some things that you may have been taught are the “standard” parts of sex, may not be enjoyable for you. A couple of people told me they struggled to answer this, but I feel that if you make yourself more comfortable expressing your discomfort, sex will become a lot better for you. Did that make sense?)
This one received a variety of answers, bet these are top 3 that I thought were most relatable.
- “Finishing too quickly”
- “When you don’t know what each other like so the first time can be hit or miss”
- “When arms start to ache during missionary”
What is a big no for you during sex?
(So… this questions however, is for things you know you 100% wouldn’t even budge on because it’s not for you. No trying it out. No talking you round to it. The ULTIMATE turn offs.)
Again, here’s a selection of you lots answers.
- “Anal/Putting a finger up there” – This was a resounding no from many for you.
- “Doing up chatty patty – too much talking is a turn off for me”
- “Having the lights on and toys”
Whatever the hell you’re doing with your genitals, just know that open and honest dialogue is key for enjoyment, progress and safety.
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