Yes Means Yes And No Means Maybe?

Have a read of this lovely guest post by Chian Reynolds – The Importance of CONSENT

Approximately 85,000 women and 12,000 men are raped in England and Wales every year. That’s roughly 11 rapes every hour! – but only 15% of those who have experienced sexual violence have reported it to the police.

Today, in 2018 I need to express how important it is to help you guys understand the POWER of the word No and having CONSENT for sex.

Unfortunately not everyone understands the word “NO”

We are briefly taught about sex education during secondary school, but we are never taught in depth about CONSENT and how important it is.

To any young women reading this post.. I hope you understand how important your body is, If anyone reading this has ever been a victim please do reach out and speak up about it. YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Suitable links are at the bottom.

Unfortunately we live in a world that’s forever oppressing women and teaching girls to not dress a certain way because they might get raped instead of teaching boys/men not to rape!

For the record (men also get raped too)  

Understand that you don’t have to be forcefully pinned down to be raped. (Unfortunately, some people beleive this is the only form and therefore dismiss other behaviors they have seen or even display themselves that counts as sexual assault). The sad reality is that people in relationships/marriages still get raped.

Have you ever been in a relationship with someone and you’ve not been in the mood to have sex with them, you simply reply “not tonight babe, I’m not in the mood” to have the pestering pleases and why’s, “why don’t you want to have sex with me?” the guilt trip “you never want to with me” the whole guilt trip and pressure. Its WRONG. Understand this is YOUR BODY and you should NEVER have to do something you don’t want to do. Why must there be such mind manipulation, why is there no respect with your decision?

Is this because of rape culture? we are so over influenced subconsciously through the world, music and media we are always looking to blame people for their actions but we never really taking responsibility to question why? Why have the statistic increased over the decades.

Our bodies are powerful, to be a woman is powerful and to ever be in a situation to feel powerless is absolutely soul destroying, it leaves us feeling emotionless and empty inside.

I hope all females can practice saying the word No in front of the mirror, it sounds weird I know, but do it, practice it enough times and study your face hard as you say it. Make sure you say it with strength and loud, clear and stern. You will soon realize how much power you can hold within yourself.

I wish you all the strength and courage you need, understand the way you feel matters! NEVER let anyone pressure/force/manipulate you in doing something you don’t want to do! All the love in the world!

Rape Crisis – Helpline: 0808 802 9999 (12-2:30 and 7-9:30)

https://rapecrisis.org.uk/

CHIAN REYNOLDS xx

If you would like to read more of Chian’s content you can find her work HERE.

Or give her Instagram a follow HERE.

 

@ellemacuk

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3 thoughts on “Yes Means Yes And No Means Maybe?

  1. I think people are uncomfortable to talk to children about consent. It’s like they think if they say something, it will give them ideas that they “could” rape someone. Similar to when people worry that asking if someone is suicidal might make them think about committing suicide. I wish that as a culture we talked about consent alongside STDs, since it is an important part of being a responsible sexually-active person. All we can do is include it in our conversations when we teach and share.

    Like

    1. I 100% agree with you on that one. But without the dialogue, no progression is made. It’s perfectly fine to have such talks with the younger generation. You just have to be confident and appropriate in how it’s worded. I’m definitely trying to create a more open and comfortable dialogue on subjects like this! Thanks for reading x

      Like

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